i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
