He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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