I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
