Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
