They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
