Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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