it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You've changed since you got that strap on
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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