She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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