the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
