can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
