He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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