I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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