Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
two words...techno handjob
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
