he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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