It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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