i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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