If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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