I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
