worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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