bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
