it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
