Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
