It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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