No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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