He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
