So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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