Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
