Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
