And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
