I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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