Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
