Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
