you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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