So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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