he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize