Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize