i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
