It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize