well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
