That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
