You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
