guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
