After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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