the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
