so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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