Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
