Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I will be naked everywhere
My vagina is officially offended.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
