I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
