I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
