There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm gonna fight the coyote
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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