haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
