2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
smell my finger.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
