very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
