okay pat passed out under dana's car
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
