Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
