your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
