Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
