Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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