I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
