You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
